It’s finally 2025 and we’re three days in now so we can finally stop talking about 2024 and 2025. We can just live it, it’s here now. And that honestly is the thing that I am looking forward to the most. In fact it’s the thing that I have been waiting my whole life for. To be able to be here. Here where I am whole, happy, and at peace. But I’m not there yet. I don’t even know if I’m close but I at least know that I am working on it now through working on my poetry book again and still trying to get this business up and launched. I really feel like I have so much to look forward to in 2025 in that regard but personally? I don’t know. It still feels like a lot is missing.
I haven’t said much about 2024 ending, no end of year recap or whatever for me. The year was nothing special really but yesterday I did realize how hard I had been working in 2024 and I didn’t even notice it. First of all, the fact that I kept a decent job all year, clap for me! I am clapping for myself because none of that was easy. In my prior position I had to take a minimum of two buses in the morning and two buses in the evening to and from. And I hated every second of riding the bus. I think I have officially become a germaphobe and riding the public transportation bus is the worst place for that. Do not even get me started on Uber and Lyft either. That conversation is for another day. This is not about that but riding the bus consistently for transportation was not a method that I was used to. I used to only get jobs within walking distance because I wanted to avoid such, having to worry about transportation. If I had the choice again I would choose walking but the only thing that kept me somewhat sane was music. I had plenty of time to drown out the environment around me with music coupled with my own thoughts.
I also had to wake up two hours early to be on time and at the beginning wait two hours after to arrive home if I was lucky. And I did all of this while being crushed by the drama going on at home, to where some nights I’d barely gotten any sleep, some days I was stressed, worried, angry. Above all I was extremely tired but I had to choose to still go to work at a job that was decent but still very much so demanding and annoying at times. I just knew I had to keep going and sure I wanted to quit but I didn’t. I don’t know why I didn’t. Maybe it was the goals that I had in my mind career wise at the time. I felt like I finally had a position that aligned with something that I actually would be interested in doing M- F from 8-5 for the next few years. Now I’m in another position currently that is opposite of that but I still feel like if needed I can circle back to getting a role that’s as close as I’m going to come to my dream career.
Maybe the reason why I really kept going though was my entrepreneurial dreams being that I started my business class in 2023 and continued it through 2024. I finally felt like I was on the right track between those two, my prior role and business classes. Every Thursday I even got to get off two hours early for class and I greatly looked forward to that. Doing something that I cared about, that was solely for me and going to further me. Until eventually I looked forward to meeting with my business coach once a week, and further down the road attending two hour Saturday classes once a week. It was early in 2024 though that I had already officially registered my business and now I was just excited to be working on it and dreaming of it coming to life as I pretty much figured out a lot on my own how to put all the pieces I was given together. It was exciting.
Here I am now, a new role, new city, new “home”, and my one year anniversary of officially registering my business is coming next week. Not my one year of operating anniversary but I will still take it because what no one tells you is that starting a business, even an online business takes time. I wasn’t prepared for what to expect within the process I feel like but I also know that I am so close. I need one more application approval in the form of my Business Occupation Tax Application and my plan is to secure that ASAP because I need to launch this business, make some money, and change my life already. I’m ready. I don’t know why this Business Occupation Tax Application is taking so long but I guess it ultimately works out and makes sense that I get it now early in the year because I have also learned that it expires every year December 31st or something and has to be renewed annually. So ultimately there would have been no point in me getting it at all in 2024 when I was still figuring out what I wanted my business to look like and be. And thankfully I have figured that out so I feel ready to launch so soon but in between time when I just had to wait (and I’m still waiting) for the timing of this business to align I had to do something to keep me hopeful. Something to stay committed to entrepreneurship and the desire to create my own life. So I started back on my poetry book recently.
My main goal for 2025 is to settle down. Like ultimately if I don’t do anything else, leaving this job in August 2025 and moving back into my own home, with the financial ability to take care of myself, and feel safe, stable, and secure long term is my non negotiable. Like it has to happen. It is going to happen and I dream of launching my business and self publishing my books as a financial means for how I am able to make that happen but… I don’t know it just has to happen. Doing it on my own terms would be the most beautiful thing ever to me to know that I am creating my life, a life I have always desired and dreamed of, and a life I want to live, would only be the greatest blessing ever. I can’t control the bureaucracy of starting a business though so I’m also kind of hesitant to lean on that part of it for any support. Which is why I started writing again because it’s free and less red tape to go through when getting started. I would love to do it all though. I would love to see everything come together, and align for me so that I can accomplish all of my dreams in 2025.
I want to put myself first. My goal and dream has always been this. Me first. Doing what is best for me and what makes me happy, healthy, and whole. Now that I see a way through entrepreneurship and being an author I am determined to create my life. I am inspired to. And I feel like I am on the journey and close and I’ve been ready a lot in my life but this time is different. I know more than I ever have because I have experienced so much and ultimately learned so much about myself. I can’t deny anything anymore. I know what I want. I know who I want to be. I know the life that I want to live. I pray this is the year. Life changing for the better. Forever. And I’m ready.